These are some of the (short) jokes I once liked. Enjoy!

Hiroshima '45... Chernobyl '86...... Windows '95

Enter any 11-digit prime number to continue...

Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard drive?

RING......

RING......

RING......

CLICK

Recording - "Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline."

If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.

If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line until we can trace the call.

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.

A rabbit came to a shop and asked, "Got any carrots?" The seller answered, "Noub!" The next day the rabbit came again and asked, "Got any carrots?" The seller retorted, "No!" Next day the rabbit came and asked, "Got any carrots?" The seller shouted, "NO! And if you come again and ask for carrots, I'll take nails and hammer you on the wall by your ears!!!!!"

Early the next morning, the rabbit came back and asked, "Got any nails?" The seller answered, "Noub!" The rabbit asked, "Got any carrots?"